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When things doesn't go the way you want it to be,
look on the bright side of life, cause...
Its A New Beginning For Me ♥
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All about me :)

sharon♥
07/01/91
20
NYP

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DARLING JENNY♥♥ JINHAN(sis)♥♥ RACHEL♥ JAS♥ YIHUI♥ ALICE

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it hurts...
Saturday, October 31, 2009; 8:52 PM

is this how my story is gonna start?
out of the sudden i feel that everything i have is so not real...
the way you look at me isn't the same any more but thats the past
i don't wish to live in denial any more.
i getting out of it! right now...
those great memories are just memories
not to be taken and not to be forgotten...
no one can understand how i'm feeling right now.
the feeling of being uneasy at all times...
i can only feel comfortable and relax when i'm at home or with my darling xinn
at the beginning of each day i just feel so dead
no motivation to do anything. as though i got no purpose in my own life.
han got her own 'island' having fun with her life.
darling is on her way to her 'island'...
for me....i'm sailing aimlessly
searching for the 'island' that i have the sense of belonging...
maybe i shall get more books to accompany me throughout my life? haha
there's something stopping me from doing the things i wish to do...
like a burden in my heart, like an unknown big mountain that block my way through..
trying many ways to express myself but everytime it seems to get complicated again..
i'm trying...
am i trying so hard to please other people and totally neglect myself?
trying so hard to understand what is their needs and totally forget about mine?
trying hard to fulfil everyone's wishes but not mine that is being fulfilled?
living in denial because i'm longed to be loved?
to control my temper towards other people so that i can have more friends?
taking note of every little details might be my strength? obviously is not by purpose..
i'm tired of being the person that everyone need help then they will come and find me..
tired of helping people? i don't know, i don't think so ba...
i feel that only when people need help then they will come and find me.
not because of wanting to find me, is because of things that can't be fulfilled then they will come and find me...
i'm sick of it...
few days ago, i'm really living in a depressed state of life.
mood really swings from north to south...as though i'm the compass in search of that stupid metal piece..
that metal piece really triggers me to the maximum.
maybe i'm in the state of early depression. lol...
i don't want to live a life of wishes..
i want a life that i can have the sense of belonging.
either towards my family or friends..
i want to do something which makes me happy.
i want to be happy..
i want to be happy..
i want to be happy..
i want. i want. i want. i want. i want. i want. i want. i want. i want. i want. i want. i want. i want.
i'm craving for that love...i miss you dad.
i miss you daddy...and i am super not happy.
i am happy, NOT!
it hurts to think of you, daddy.
it hurts when your image is fading away in my mind..
it hurts the most when i cry and knowing that you won't be back any more...
it simply hurts so much to cry for you...



\ SHARON ♥ /8:52 PM


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LOVE BOOKS!
Friday, October 30, 2009; 11:02 PM

addicted in reading books now~
<3



\ SHARON ♥ /11:02 PM


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lucky
Wednesday, October 21, 2009; 4:25 PM

went to see doctor for my nose today. luckily its just sensitive nose so don't need to see any specialist. got this medicine which i have to 'squeeze' this medi into my nose. its in liquid form though. wonder how it feels like hahaha maybe like how the water got into your nose while swimming? haha!
mummy still say wanna throw away my 'baobei' cloth because its 'hairy' hahaha! but its a NO NO!
sch is tiring plus the lecture hall now sucks man! so hard! not comfortable at all!
i need my sleep!! so tired.. *yawn...*
shall post another time, good bye~!



\ SHARON ♥ /4:25 PM


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TP!
Monday, October 12, 2009; 2:40 PM

HUHU! i've finally booked my tp! its on the 26 jan 10. a better occasion for this date i guess.
i'm gonna give my best to pass this tp! wahaha!(i hope!) lol
this morning went out to meet junxian and he bring me to ubi. haha cause i don't know how to go... we had mac for breakfast, so long haven't had mac for breakfast.. hahah
hai sian lor...i can't see my timetable, don't know what happen...
and now i'm at home doing nothing, looking around aimlessly.
maybe i should go jogging later? should i? is quite a cooling day, maybe i should? duhh i don't know..
i am really kinda bored of my life!! my holiday isn't interesting at all?!?
some more school is reopening next week...! plus i am so so so damn broke~!~!
i have been seeing weird things nowadays... after i dreamt about my daddy, weird things start to surface..
such as, i keep having the feeling that 'someone' is there but there isn't anyone... its really kinda weird though...
not just me that got this problem, it happen to my kor and sis too. weird~!
but nvm, it should be alright :D
i think i am quite hardworking this few weeks as i did went to gym(for trying on the equipments? lol) and sometimes go for a jog at the stadium. cool uh.. trying to slim down asap hahah! cause i think i'm getting fatter! :(
& I DON'T WANT! :(
so no choice i gotta exercise a lot...jiayou jinhui! ^^
i shall post until here then. see you!

i miss you...daddy <3



\ SHARON ♥ /2:40 PM


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daddy's dream..
Wednesday, October 7, 2009; 10:17 PM

today i dreamt of my daddy...

i dreamt that i'm at the market looking for my mum. i saw this GUY, i really don't know who he is. my mum is very scared that me and that GUY will meet each other. in that dream, i'm really scared of him.(seriously i don't know why)
how i wish i can see this person's face. i secretly took my mum's car key and went to the lorry. when i got up the lorry, I SAW MY DAD! i'm so delighted to see him there, even though i knew he is no longer living. i'm puzzled why is daddy there but i just don't care. i happily hugged him tightly and told him that i really miss him a lot a lot...
he said, he knew about that and other than that he knew that i've been taking my driving lessons and soon get my licence. he is thrilled! his smile, i will never forget. he ask me to drive and let him see. hahah i told him that i haven't got my licence but he say its alright, he just wanna see. so i just drove out of the parking lot and parked back at the other parking lot. (lol kinda stupid uh hahaha!) i think i'm hiding from that GUY thats why i've decided to park at another side.

when i woke up this afternoon, i can't stop tearing. seriously i miss my daddy a lot a lot...=(
how i wish i can continue and 'dream on...' <3



\ SHARON ♥ /10:17 PM


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