i am trying my best not to think of you but i fail
i'm utterly disappointed in myself i guess, i don't know
i'm alright when its day time, but when it comes to night time.torturing
what else can i do...?
tend to drift my attention everytime when i'm alone or when i'm with someone else.
chat with darling awhile just now and we're thinking how long am i going to let it go
answer: it will take forever unless...unless
the feeling of falling into your arms is nevertheless, great
but it won't be happening again, ever
i gave my hands to you, you held it but you let it go the next moment..
how am i going to believe in you ppl again?
trust?
my trust is FULL of doubts now
can my trust be regain in you?
my heart felt so heavy, as though i'm gonna sink
to be honest, i'm deeply sank in it.
trying my best to get out asap because i know there's no happy ending, i guess
unless there's miracle
actually i don't believe in miracle but i truly wanna believe it once, just this once
i'm pinning lots of high hopes and i know i shouldn't
because i know i will fall hard and hurt myself badly
without doing my best, i won't give up
thats my attitude towards it
doing my best doesn't mean i will bother you, don't worry i won't
there's really a lot of things running through my fucking mind too and i'm serious!
i've reached my peak and i'm still enduring
because i know i can be off the limit at times
you may think i'm silly for doing this, but thats my principle and i mean it
you once said thats not the worst hurt i've got and i can tell you that.
that very last hurt i've got is painful enough for me and it lasted for 1-2yrs time
yes it might not be the worse for you but its the WORST for me
do you know exactly how long i took to really put that trust into you?
maybe for you, you might think that its pretty easy to gain that trust from me..
but you will never know how much i worked to bring that trust back to you, guys
now, everything is gone i guess
if you're uniquely different, i want to see some miracles in my life
but if you're not...i have nothing to say
you said in the future there won't be any sad or emo post from my blog because you won't let it happen
it will only have happy and ecstatic posts
i wish...
thats impossible
is it always when i'm down, i'll get sick?
maybe?
having gastric pain throughout the night, and even few days back
having sleepless night since then...
how i wish attachment is on now!
so that my day can pass real fast
i don't think you will be reading my blog
and maybe i also don't wish to ba.
i don't wish you to see this side of me. being so pathetic and so shag
but i wish to see you.
i don't know how am i going to tell you what exactly i'm feeling now
the feeling is fucking unbearable
i'm out of vocabulary to use to explain my feelings now
thinking of you is my daily routine
missing you is like having my meals, i will miss you without fail
memories of us is the only survival key i have now
and i'm really precious about that 'key'
that 'key' is the main reason which brighten up my everyday life
i'm keeping it safe with me
i'm beat, finding myself so not myself any more
fuck la!
i'm reaching my fucking limit of tolerance
i will still endure, even though a minute is like years to me
i want to know things which i don't.
please just tell me some thing.
i'm exhausted *faint*
